Leila A: Something more…

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If you are reading this you have access to electricity, some sort of computer or device to access the internet from and you are most probably sitting somewhere, I’m going to guess indoors. These are only some of the few luxuries we enjoy every day. Luxuries that many people from different parts of the world don’t have access to. So it humbles us to know we are surrounding by these things that most of the time we take for granted. I have many things: I have a collection of shoes, a fairly sized closet, jewelry, a smart phone, a laptop and many other material things. I could go on for awhile about those, but as not to sound conceited I’ll stop there. I also have an amazing family and a bunch of wonderful friends scattered all around the globe. All things that I think I might share with you my dear reader.

We Lebanese place a big emphasis on our societal image. We reflect it in the brands we wear and the cars we drive, the clubs we go to and the places we eat. It takes up a lot of our time and energy.  To me it’s ridiculous. Going out of your way to impress people you don’t like with things you can’t afford (I read that somewhere and never forgot it). There is no real point to it. We end up in a miserable place, living for others, losing ourselves along the way. I feel it deviates our minds from what truly matters. Any internal depth disappears and puts our minds in rigid social moulds formed of superficial materials.

The thing is regardless of all those things and the awareness of the blessings I’ve been handed and reflecting on my society’s ‘standards’ I realize a big part of me hasn’t been fulfilled. Something is missing, something important. I just can’t seem to pinpoint exactly what it is. Maybe it’s that self-actualization need that Maslow was talking about or my thirst for humanity.  Do you feel that way too? That you are not content with what you have? It’s not that I want more; Not at all. I’ve grown accustomed to my life and my surroundings. I know that they are there. What I want is something that has greater meaning than buying something designer from Aishti, find something I am passionate about and pursue it. I want to find something that will make my heart sing. I want to wake up every morning with an action plan. I want to do something that will lead to a greater or higher purpose; Something beyond me. I just don’t know what it is yet.

Do you have that?

Leila A is a 20-something contributor to LBC blogs and currently studying abroad. Read her latest thoughts on her blog Living as Leila .

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